I had a heartfelt phone conversation with my mum last night and it feels like a big weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I know that my decision to move really hurts her and that she’ll miss me terribly (even if she of course wants me to be happy). Knowing this have caused me to having problems sharing this whole process with her and my feelings. I don’t want to hurt her but it seems like I’ve done just that by shutting her out too.
I’ll miss her too, lots and lots! But this move is something that I need to do even if it means I’ll hurt people close to me. I need to do this for me, for my happiness. I want to do it . But of course my feelings are mixed. I’m happy and excited but at the same time sad and a little bit scared. It’s a big leap I’m about to take, a leap I rather take with the support of my family. There will be ups and downs along the road and of course I’ll do what I can to keep my family close, even from a distance.
I know I’m rambling, it’s hard to put down in words how I feel but I want to be honest and not just portrait a glorified side of this situation. Yes I’m moving to Australia, this exotic place so many people love and dream about at least visiting. An opportunity and a chance of a lifetime but there is two sides to the story: a happy one and a sadder one and sadly you can’t have one without the other.